Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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