I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
