Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
