you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
