and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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