turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
