woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
