also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
What changed your mind?
Being sober
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
