I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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