Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
