It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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