it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
