I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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