Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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