dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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