The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
