No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
