I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We need to rekindle our bromance
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
