Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
