she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
