so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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