dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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