the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
