That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
