Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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