Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Randomize
