I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize