Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
