apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Green mimosas i think yes
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
