You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
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