am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
