I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
