Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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