She is in my trunk
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It all started with a game of naked twister.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
