Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
