So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize