Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
