I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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