ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
