Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So many bounce houses so little time
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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