nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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