you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
