really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
