We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
