I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
