i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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