I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
