He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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