Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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