hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
