i would punch a child for taco bell
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
