maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Randomize
