I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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