Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
