dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
