Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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