there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
