This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
