I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
