too bad you live with your parents still
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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