I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have feelings that need drinking.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
