i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
